No Business Like Show Business
by EosAella
Summary: Robin really wants to audition for the school play. Vlad really didn't want to audition for the school play. The Count wants Vlad to audition. Guess who wins. No slash.


"Come on Vlad please! I really need to practice if I want to get this part." Robin pleaded with me. "Please please please please please-"

Auditions for the school play were tomorrow and Robin wanted to go.

I know, I know. Robin Brannagh? In a play? But it all makes sense when you discover that the 'bad guy' is a vampire known as 'The Count'.

Guess which part Robin wants.

Unfortunately right now he wants me to help him with the audition scene.

The one where he bites a breather.

"-please please please please please-"

"ALRIGHT! I'll help just... Shut up for a bit."

"Thanks Vlad."

"What do you want me to do?"

I bit my lip as Robin walked towards me. He seemed to have the dialogue down alright now he just needed to learn how to bite someone (except without the actual biting bit).

He wasn't very good.

He stood behind me and pushed my head slightly to the left. When I felt his breath on my neck I couldn't hold it in anymore and just burst out laughing.

"Vlad!"

"Sorry Robin it's just... You... You've got it all wrong." I managed to choke out.

"Go on then what did I do wrong?"

"Well you need to change your walk for a start you look like a duck. And then generally a vampire will attack from the front rather than the back. Also you didn't tilt my head far enough and you were too low down, you were closer to the shoulder than the jugular."

"Go on then, if you're such an expert how would you do it?"

"Robin my dad is Count Dracula. Probably the most famous vampire. Ever. I don't have a choice but to be an expert."

"Just show me."

I made a big show of walking over to the other side of the room to Robin's starting point. I was about to start before Robin stopped me, he threw me my cape.

"Put it on, it'll make you more vampiric."

I sighed but didn't argue. The sooner I'd done this the sooner Robin would stop wanting to practice.

I strode confidently towards Robin and smirked slightly as I neared him.

This has got to be one of the weirdest things I've done and I've done soon pretty weird things.

I pushed his head to the side fairly roughly but not enough to hurt him but before I could show him where he should be aiming for the door opened and my dad walked in.

Great.

"Vladimir have you seen - What are you doing? Are you biting your first breather? Oh well done my son! I knew you wouldn't let me down. Well go on then, don't let me stop you." He took a seat on my bed.

"I'm not biting Robin dad." I let go of him. "I'm helping him rehearse for his audition. He wants to be the vampire but frankly his technique is worse than mine and I know what you think of that." I explained.

"Oh well, it'll happen eventually. Now what's this play? With a vampire in it? I hope you're planning on auditioning for that role."

"What? No. Robin is."

"Well you are now." he told me matter of factly. "We Draculas are amazing actors. Not that you'll need to act much of course not with the natural charm you inherited from me."

"Is there anything we're not good at?" I asked sarcastically.

"Getting a tan?" Robin suggested.

I rolled my eyes at his suggestion.

"I don't want to audition though dad."

"Nonsense! You're going to get that part Vladimir and that is final." Before I could say another word he was gone.

"I hate it when he does that." I muttered. "Now, where were we?"

"You were about to bite me."

"Robin you know that even if I wanted to I couldn't bite you right?"

"Right, yeah."

"Now why don't you try again?"

"I dunno Vlad, it seems a bit pointless me auditioning if you're going to be..."

"I'll let you wear my cape?"

"What are we waiting for? let's practice." Robin took the proffered clothing and draped it round his shoulders.

"So which scene are you auditioning with?" Robin asked me the next morning.

"I dunno yet, I thought I'd just look at a script this morning and then wing it."

"Why don't you do the one we were practising? You already know the words for it..."

"Ok," I shrugged, "Might as well."

"You'll probably get it." he muttered.

"I might not, I've got just as much chance as anyone else."

"Except you've got more because you're a lucky little git."

"Gee thanks." I laughed.

"It's true! You get to live in a castle-"

"Full of cobwebs."

"-You always get the girl-"

"That was one time!"

"-you've got the coolest dad alive-"

"He's not alive."

"-and you're a vampire!"

"I wouldn't really call that lucky."

"So you're obviously going to get it!"

"I don't even want to audition. Dad's making me and he'll know if I don't."

"How?"

"Ingrid."

"Ah."

"He's paying her to make sure I go and actually try."

The auditions were held at lunch in the school hall.

"Robin Brannagh, for The Count." Robin told the teacher as she came along the line writing our names down.

"Vlad Count for The Count." I said with a lot less enthusiasm, over her shoulder I saw Ingrid smirking.

Robin managed to do his audition, looking nothing like a duck I might add. Evidently our practice had helped him.

Then it was my turn.

I had been planning on not really trying but that was assuming Ingrid had got bored and left by that point.

I realised with a sigh that Ingrid was still there. She waved cheerily to me, clearly enjoying my discomfort.

"Are you lost?" I asked the girl auditioning with me, I suppose I'd just have to hope that the teachers preferred someone else.

"Ok well done everyone, we'll put the list up by the end of the day." We were told when the bell rang for the end of lunch.

"Come on then, let's go." I said as I met Robin outside his maths classroom.

"We can't go home! First we've got to go see the cast list!"

"Do we have to? We can always look tomorrow. Or, even better, we just don't bother!"

"Come on," Robin grabbed my sleeve and started pulling me along, "stop whining."

"I was not whining!"

"Yeah you were."

"Hurmph."

Robin carried in tugging me towards the the list, I stood back as he pushed his way through the crowd surrounding the notice. After five minutes he emerged from the throngs again.

"How'd you do?" I asked.

Robin shook his head dejectedly.

"You're not in it?"

"Oh no I am, I'm just not the count."

"Oh well, what are you then?"

"Don't you want to know who the count is?"

"Not particularly but I imagine you're going to tell me anyway."

"Guess."

"No Robin just tell me if you want to."

"Go on, guess."

"I don't know. Ingrid?"

"Don't be thick Vlad."

"Who then?"

"You!"

"Right and who are you again?"

"Jake, the guy that tries to befriend the count but ultimately gets bitten."

"Ok and - wait did you say me?"

* * *

>Ok so this will be continued but I just want to say that my Merlin fics will generally come first :) but you can always review in the hope that it will spur me on *hint hint*<p><p> 


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